Dear Dane

While I'm in love mode...............

I do have some memories of your real life stalking. Bad and good but remembering the good. ................
It's funny that I think I mistakingly called you a mysogynist (pain lover) instead of a mashochist (woman hater).
I think I'm the real mysogynist. Not completely. I like romance, teddy bears and flowers too.
But, I know there were times you did come on to me. Because you are a self-admitted liar, it really is difficult and confusing knowing what to believe of you. Also, the reality of your actual star status and the women you've dated. How could anyone expect me to not be a little on the insecure side? It really is difficult juggling that and still having a good sense of self respect. I have my pride and ego too.
Speaking of that is back to me being the Sampson of your breadwinner mentality.................
I'm playing with ideas. To set in stone of any concrete or serious relationship is something that I still leave in your control. It also goes back to other cycles of my personal labels of staying in some sort of relationship with you........
Anyway...... Let's say I was jobless and you were the provider. I'd have a hard time with it. It would be a huge change in my life. I've gone through a lot of unemployment and it is really painful and sometimes horrifying with having to rely on my parents. Horrifying.
I do bite numerous hands with the ability to feed me. I have pride and it is hard for me to deal with during so many times that I feel people are desperately trying to rob me of anything. I even have a B.S. degree. It may not be a Masters or Dr's. I don't want to go into detail with titles and everything but I sure you have some idea of how I must feel.
I really like rolling with the honey moon imagination, but are you really the provider and have we really gone on vacation anywhere?
Stupid question but showing I really do have some sanity.
Speaking of my insanity, I'm getting to the point of remembering why I love you.
You're more than a pretty face too. I really do admire a guy showing his vulnerability. I think it is brave. Your outgoing personality can be a little complicated to figure out how to handle, but even though you are a self admitted liar, I like how you express yourself anyway. And have the obvious humor to go with it.
It's really not always funny. Funny for some men or even women, but there are times when I'm not laughing........

Sorry if I somehow spoil it by being over reaching or trying too hard. While I'm in love mode, I don't want to miss the chance to take real action to show how I feel.
I've already learned that some hunters have different results of perceptions compared to my actions. I've always dealt with that difficulty as well.
People forget about the oil rig concept.
People forget that not every one is on the same page.
People forget that different people care about a number of different things.
People forget about the snowflake concept altogether.

I really do want to keep a man around. I know I can be annoying, but I really want to figure out how keep a man around. Not just a fling or one night stand or whatever. You're definitely a sore thumb sticking out for one to assume you're not the type of man that stays around.

I think there may be obvious cues of other men around. Men who could be potentials. Reminds me how much I hate the game and the field. players players players.

I'm not committed to anyone. I've had past lovers in Burmuda, but I don't really have any serious relationships with anyone right now. I'm labeled as single and confused yet in love mode with you.

I love you Dane

Sincerely,
Sarah