I'm picking up on some positive hints and it makes me smile.
Despite communism, having to be right in relationships and love, and my reality of desperation, I love you.
I do feel insecure from time to time. I don't completely get everything in my insecurity. I'm not looking to be an entertainer, so missing out on opportunities of entertainment won't destroy me, but it has an odds of making me a more vulnerable adult and hatred from numbers of people that demand I compete.
I don't care. The big picture still doesn't make sense.
Some of your positive hints don't make sense because we really aren't physically person to person together. I'd rather play along with the honey moon idea anyway. If I get screwed over, then its another loss I'll have to live with. I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of the way I feel I have to sometimes compete and worry over myself in order to safeguard and protect. There are times I feel I can never win, and it certainly seems so.
I've been avoiding love songs for a long time, because its not something I want to let myself think about or be attached to. I wish I could have some perfect love songs picked out to play for you.
Maybe I'll just say I love you and I'm enjoying the imagination of the honey moon
I do have another love song, but its a secret that I like to keep to myself.
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