Random Thoughts

One last flea market of the year tmw at my usual place. I don't know how long I will outlast the weather, but since it is cold and close to Christmas; I may have better odds at selling some stocking stuffers. I still have odds of making sales elsewhere, and sometimes, I never know how it is going to go. I actually went into a hiss a few weeks ago over that with someone who was harassing me (over I never know how some sales will go).

Today, I actually have a large to do list. I havn't decided everything that I am going to do. I do plan on watching SNL but it will most likely be until the next day. Unless I have a night of insomnia, I most likely won't watch it. I also naturally woke up super early today.

In my love life, whether or not I am being tested in anyway, I can't emotionally take it right now. I just can't. I do want to keep some kind of controlled distance, but sometimes, life can throw anything my way and life happens.

I keep wondering what the next year or two will be like. I wonder if there will be anything new coming my way; if I will ever get a break in anyway; or if I have to put up with the same old stuff. I can always give myself new stuff to do, but in trying to make connections with people, it takes 2. I'm not saying I'm being romantic, but it could lead to that insinuation. I mean it platonically as well, and usually with the odds of a person's approach, things usually become nothing but a mess. Not enough people with people skills anymore.

While my thoughts are in the negative but aren't meant in revolving around the negative or to fulfill an egocentric person in anyway, I have a feeling that I have another lame and desperate Spanish inquisition coming my way. I've actually lived through quite a few different ones, but I'm guessing that it is the one that people have been the most predatory and harassing with, which is animals. Of course they can be desperate, predatory, and harassing with other things, but I yawn over having to yawn so much.

I wonder what Christmas is going to be like this year. I havn't made any decisions yet of what I'm going to do with myself or where I will go. I also havn't decided if I am going to be at least charitable with someone while feeling like I'm my own charity case. Who is it that I am going to be giving to? While I could be called a Scrooge, I still want to be a little giving anyway. Some random things to think about. Not enough money for everyone, but a simple card to give some few people could do.

I don't know what I'm going to do next with Anderson. If I was meant to seriously read in between someone's lines; I'm seriously offended that he would have me offended like that. He gave some kind of positive sign after the show, but I can't tell what he is up to. Is he intentionally psychotically ignoring me and not taking anything I say seriously, or what some of his mind games are? I don't get him or his mind games and if he could be intentionally lying to me just so he can keep playing his mind games. It took some time to figure out the Today Show a little and their mind games before giving up on them; I'm unsure if it is the same with Anderson or how long it will be before I decide to give up.