Bracing for my depressing storm

The past couple of weeks have been rough and this upcoming weekend will be rough. I can say I can be grateful for having several unexpected days off last month and this month that were fully paid. But, I still have hardly enough time in my hands. I still worked a lot, but despite all of that this past week and next week has hit me with such a thud. I work both on my birthday and on New Years Eve. My daughter won't be with me on those days because she will be at her grandmothers. The weekend is the most convenient time to have her watched as I am working, but I will so lonely during a time I don't want to be lonely. I was recently dumped by my boyfriend and although I usually never do anything major during my birthday, I can't stand how alone I will be on that day. I have had getting a pedicure in my head and taking myself somewhere nice to eat during the daytime, but the indulgences are just not going to cut it this time. I still may indulge myself in a thing or two anyway because it is the best relief I can get. I might pick up a double on one of the weekend days so I can have more money relief going into the week ahead but time off is what I should need. I'm having a hard time being motivated. I think Mr. Sullivan wants to be another intentional time wasting heart stab or punch in the stomach and I gave up on him and got over him awhile ago. I have a feeling he just wants to be unnecessary drama and make my life miserable with the reminder that he is. While he was never the intentional threat that Sidney was, he is still an unintentional one in depressing me with the intentional selfish predator that he is. I really don't feel like going through a hassle of finding some random guy to sleep with for a night. Sometimes I can more than handle one night stands more than others, and right now, I don't even feel like any kind of one night stands no matter how random the guy is for me. (The more random and self-known stranger, the better). Small indulgences and the casino are the only things on my mind this weekend during the little spare time that I have. I think I'll be going to the casino tomorrow as that is the only full night I will be having off. Until then, I have to wait for some time to pass before I can have a skip to my step again.

Most dominate rebel?

Sometimes, I get a hunch that some men (totalitarians) want to rebelliously keep me challenged on purpose. I'm struck by Ben. I'm just struck. (In just a small side gossip I'm in a little bit of a fight with captain America presently, but it wasn't over Ben. I'm not sure where it will go, but it was a mild fight that got into a bad fight, but he is not officially out of the picture. I've already threatened him some in being two faced and a player, but I've always had this double Bollywood life and real life where it is more along the lines of an impossible double life where I know I don't mean to be evil or two-faced with him. Quite frankly, I still believe in him more than I believe in Ben's Bollywood, but I have to keep messing with Ben.) I'm not always sure if I get a direct message from some people or if someone else orchestrates the conversation. There wasn't much conversation to be had, but whatever deal Ben wants to have with me, he is not finished. I really was minding my own business, but someone did bring up a past blogging conversation. There was a lot of times where I knew Ben was supposed to represent Josh in the arbitrage back in the day, but I was a little flirty anyway and I got POUNCED. Not by the "Pouncey," Steeler. I have no choice other than to wonder what goes on in Ben's mind. I really would see him as a typical Bollywood player, but does he have any real serious feelings for me? I know I've let him down in some arbitrage situations before, but I wouldn't say the drama with Ben and I has been as severe as the drama I've had with some other Bollywood men. I know he has some recognition and acknowledgement of me and it is like we have respectively minded our own business the entire time. If he is a real swinger or into open relationships, he is sure one to lie about it. I believe him to have let me down and be a cheater when it comes to me, but he just isn't as bad as the other ones about it: he has mostly left me alone that I know of... Until now. He comes and goes sometimes. In most discretion: "we just can't help it." With all the different kinds of violently retarded "masters," and while I know I've had "Masters," who have wanted to molest me on both ends with the dog issue "I can't handle my own sexuality," or "for shame on me as if I'm the most extreme bestial believer," I do believe in self control Ben. I have a hard time in being ice cold water about it. I know I'm seduced and give you more thought. I think I could just look at you like another Bollywood drama I know I don't want to have to deal or mess with. If there is something else you want me to clear up or clarify Ben, I don't know what you really want. Ammon Big Ben Bundy. lol. Josh looked like he was trying to look like James Comey or my father the other day, and I don't know why he or someone else wants me to feel so harassed. Maybe Josh's "Behind Blue Eyes," still looks at me today like I'm his worst life long damnation. I don't know what the half of it was Ben. Mysterious non-conversationalized sights and sounds.........what do you want Ben.....

Gotta Keep Hauling It

I'm stressed as usual. Babygirl starts her first day of kindergarten tomorrow. A big day in her life. PreK kind of counted for something but Kindergarten is more official I suppose. She will be in an entire new school district and I'm sure she will make plenty of friends. Most things are working out. I have times of being extremely tight on money but I will make it through. I mostly have babysitting taken care of; it just gets complicated during the times I work all day. I'm going to have no other choice than to work some late shifts on the weekdays soon. Probably just once a week than varying on weekends. I have had zero time for anything. Crafting has been on my mind a lot lately and I am set back on it this year. Anytime the fall season comes around; my mind has been on crafting for the past couple of years and how much I've loved the planning and mild thrills of the festivals I do. I already had to skip two summer festivals. So far, I've only had 2 fall festivals signed up and planned for where I still hope I will make it. I havn't had the time to craft as much as I usually do. I still have a lot of inventory from past years, but not as much new or experimentally freshly new designed ideas items this year. I feel like I'm missing out big time because I just can't keep up with everything going on. I'm temporarily underwater in the craft world this year, but I'm hoping I'll have a good list of craft shows I can keep up with next year. I've been thinking that I've liked crafting so much, that I should make more of a serious partial income and living out of it. I should be having more shows on a year-round basis. Making sales aren't always guaranteed, but it is about finding the right place and just having found places that I know will work. I won't have the time to continue on with the exploration this year and will hate the feeling of missing out on crafting because I'm just too busy. It has seriously been another reason for me to be anxious. I still don't have my apartment entirely taken care of yet, but I know it will happen in time. I just need to force myself to get tighter in my budgeting. Sometimes small splurges are their own relief. oh well.............. The man drama has been rough lately. I can't stand to feel forced into a deeper depression because of how many relationships fail and just how much they fail. I am a severely cursed woman who just can't find a right and reasonable man that I can deal with. However some men come along to just tear me apart more and terrorize me; I know I have such a mean and hateful totalitarian who hates me more than words can describe with how failed of a woman I am. I'm still betting a lot of it is Jon's sick hate. While yesterday's arbitrage could have been on someone else; Mike was being very seen with Erin. I know violence begets violence with some people and with the way I've been screaming at him, I could only somewhat expect to be let down. But that's my point: he does not fight for me. He gives himself an unfair and mean right anyway where Erin still should feel sexually cheated on in a way, but I'm still the same victim. He just wasn't going to be sensitive in many ways especially when it comes to making me feel like a basement slave. He overlooks me and thinks it is a cake walk for him to be any kind of leader and another fucked up man when it comes to having a leadership obsession compared to understanding what it means to be in any kind of relationship with anyone. Who does Mike Sullivan think he is to play the shady games he plays with me? While I honestly wasn't thinking too much of Shawn Shaffer, something could have upset him where he was being the oversensitive one with Tommy Lee, but he lost me a long time ago over several reasons and one being the same reason for keeping me cheated on, judged, and betrayed with Erin. Batter the confidence to their dominance out of them all; the senseless barbarians. I don't know how much Mike will keep killing me with the way he intrudes on me and breaks in my head or intrudes on me on the outside in betrayal with others. I hate the way I can't control the way he forces himself on me both ways and there is nothing I can do about it. He's a control freak who has me so seriously and unfairly played. He brought it on himself with the way I was screaming at him earlier. I will survive and have to survive and right now his is far more of a liability than an asset to my survival. I may eventually have him hated off of me entirely

No Other Communication Route

And this is what you get for the way I'm always left alone. alone. Mike is still "not here," with me, but I can still leave you any time I want. I'm still upset at the shady acts and signs and have a brow beating skepticism with the way I feel under dogged. There are still some other negative things going on where I'm not comfortable.... Despite some things, Mike makes me feel such a serious strong heavy petting and smothering lustful romance. Not entirely romantic, but I feel him coming onto me in the head in such a strong and serious way. I question how serious he is with me. I feel in a little bit of shock. I wish I could stay quiet but I just can't. I'm not completely sold that he wants to take it up a level and be more serious, but it seems like that in some ways... Same Bollywood BS type of relationship. I still question some truths about his marriage; where he came from with me and however he noticed me; how much of a gangbanger and betrayer is he? ....... Despite whatever amount of lust; my emotional and mental health matters too. I had a real anxiety attack about being kept and the way it never ends with the same lonely Stockholm stories. It just never ends. It hurts me more to be kept by some men than it does to be let go of and on my own. I know I like to feel and be wanted. I just can't stay in relationships in certain ways. I know I still want you Mike in a lot of ways and I like the thought of being an official item with you, but when I feel like I'm in a dead end relationship where it most likely won't go any further and I already have terrible doubts, it hurts to be kept. I can't question your lustful sincerity too much, but I question your sincerity and genuine will to want and care about me in other ways. I don't want you to feel obligated to me or like you have to stay with me. A guy has to have a truly sincere affection for me or it won't be healthy for me at all. You feel affectionate in some ways, but do you sincerely want, like, or care for me? Do you really have sincere and non-obligated feelings for me? If you have betrayed me too much in ways I just can't see or get and have already dug too deep of a grave; I want you to leave me alone with that too. In other thoughts: still horny, feisty, and resistant

Brain Storming

I know I don't like the thought of making Mike feel abandoned. ... The things I just don't know. The bondage assault is still up in the air, and I still don't know where that threat came from. It really looked like all fingers were pointing to Mike. Both he and Sidney break in my head to keep me seduced out of the victim and bring some assurance with what is on their mind. I know I'm still a little bit of a victim in another way, but the issue was blocked. I'm too paranoid with the date rape. It is nice they want to keep me and all, but I just can't be kept by the same arbitrage that has already over failed and over betrayed me. I feel past arbitrage wants to ruin and sabotage my next prospects, but what if all of the gang rapes are bigger than what I know? What if Mike and Sidney really know all of my history and shamelessly just didn't care with how violent and inferior of a gang rape it always was? Yes, if a man is going Stockholm me, he needs to be a little bit more of a professional know it all. He found me out and kidnapped me for what? I have a homework expectation where if they are going to make some serious dominate moves and demand my submission; they better have some kind of idea or purpose in taking me for their self like that. It isn't ok to be so ignorant with my enemies. While I have been livid in so many ways, I know I have already been murderously and chauvinistically out pigged where it's on me with "people I don't know," AS IF I WERE EVER THE KIDNAPPER OR RAPIST TO BEGIN WITH. As if I were responsible for intentionally subjecting a person and putting their life on the line in a morose piggish way in forcing them to know me or put their self out for my own selfish reason. When someone IS being dominate with me, I sure have my reasons all right in expecting guys to do their homework. I can't let myself scream rape too much right now, but for the sake of rage prevention, I think Mike and Sidney should run from any piggishness at all costs. I bet they have a lot of other random women that they keep played (that they will be much safer with) and I would be more suspicious of Sidney being more of the player. Do I really have Sidney's forgiveness? Is he going to be playing one too many blind-siding games where I get more clueless than I ever was from the start and there is no point of a relationship because anything about the relationship will always be treated as too much of a joke? I can't completely trash the idea Sidney's relationship like that yet. Maybe Sidney does have his anger and rage, but maybe he does still have some will to care for me. I just didn't take the "tranny," comment serious enough and don't even know where it came from or why? He sure was giving me some major mixed signals of having a romantic will to care and lust and making me feel like an underdog. I know I didn't completely know what to believe with him either and feel I have probably missed some things. ....... I know I'm weaker and I know they love to eat my weakness up. Although I know I like their attention, something does feel unsafe and wrong with having both of them. I feel ravished and ravaged and I know some times of ravage came from them and I am made to question how much the recent violence has come from them, more so with Sidney. But, the violence could have come from Mike too. While I could understand that I could have made Sidney mad, I just can't understand the Jekyll and Hyde to feel romanced and a little loved to feel another violence like everything was nothing at all. I especially can't understand how could Mike be such a two-face if he was? The original identity of the violence wasn't Sidney's. I was going to try to be more quiet to just wait out to look and see what Mike and Sidney's next moves are. When I feel left in the dark too much; I scream for more light and more things to believe. I don't want to feel the paranoid date-raped victim; I don't want to be played in the worst inhumane way. I want them to let me in more. I will always want the Bollywood to stop and have whatever it is I have in the real world in a more real way.

Random Thoughts

Some would see cowardice as a good sign in some ways. A man just won't have his kill, he has hesitation and loss of pride or acceptance in it for some reason. My problems and issues with cowards are not that I just feel lied to, but I have felt the unfairness of the credibility issue one too many times and just how murderous some lies can become. I have been made to look the most willing in ways I have never and will never be willing one too many times. I hate being lied against like that. I hate the murderous way some people would intentionally provoke ME to look like I am someone that I'm not. There are times I murderously refuse to be tested. It depends on a lot of things with the way I let myself go. Sometimes, I'm too tired to care to not let myself go...... In the arbitrage, I can tell some random people are there from time to time. They still do things that are unreachable and where I won't always know how to make sense of their presence or whatever kind of message they want to bring. There are just some arbitrages and Stockholms I don't have much respect for because of the unfair Stockholm that it is. If I am supposed to get something about Nathan; I don't know what I should get about him. I don't have any strong feelings for or against Nathan. Despite Wayne's denial, I believe Wayne is a man who is in my arbitrage life from time to time. I don't trust Wayne. I believe he has had the most murderous betrayals and gangsterism against me for the sake of Stacy, Bree Ann, and Katie. Although he won't own up to it, I was so upset when he did Stockholm me in the mind one night and try to have or keep me. It was terrifying and emotionally painful to know he has already been a gangster against me for them and thinking I would ever lose or give into him after being like that. Wayne really has never personally come across me, but I feel he has had such a serious intent in wanting to hurt or humiliate me for their sake. I have felt ganged up on by the other worst controlling men for their sake from time to time and they will always get nothing but the worst disrespect from me. I would not point at Wayne to say he is the "drug lord," I would look at him as the most severely insensitive chauvinist who just did not get how mean it was for him to want to hit on me in the head like that. I had a few instances where I had my own cheap thrills as a dancer with several different guys, but it was seriously just fun and games for me. I didn't think Wayne would feel so threatened that he would give himself the right. ............ I sometimes think I can meet some new guys and let myself go and have some fun only to find out some are still gangster as the last one. I can't say that I've found that out yet with my present guys, but I have no other choice than to wonder some if some guys really do have a gangster truth. I hate that. I hate the way some men won't give up on their worst controlling abuse and totalitarianism and I hate that they will always want me to be constantly paranoid. How dare I ever let myself go and have some fun and enjoy life? I could be wrong. I would assume the most with a stranger that they would have the most innocent or blissful intent. paranoia paranoia threats threats.... I don't consider myself a self-righteous person at a severe level. I can be sometimes with some issues more than others, but I'm not out to hawk anyone for any particular self-righteous reason. I can be a hawk in my own self-protection, but never for a specific intent. I just don't like to judge people or feel either the prosecutor or judge. If some people mess with me in certain ways; they sure do have something coming for them, but I'm just not out to judge people. I've never been into the drug scene and I usually have my own quiet assertions because the drug scene can be easily provoked. It is unusual for it to be the other way around. I, I don't always know how much I should take something seriously. Some threats are nothing new to me and some are milder than others. I've never considered myself weak for drugs. There are times where I feel as a person more weak and vulnerable than others. I had a little bit of an anxiety attack last night; I didn't have much sleep and was starting to dose off at the wheel and had a good bit to drink in the past two days (wasn't driving drunk). I have anxiety attacks every so often and it is when I struggle with a sense of loneliness the most. I'm fine though. I am fine and I will be ok.

Random Thoughts

I am at a very high stress level right now, but there are still some things that are going good for me. I knew April would be a tough month with Mitzi's birthday and Easter. Besides that, I had two other unexpected expenditures. There was one night where the snow was making the roads slick, so I had to pull over and get a hotel. Then, this past weekend, I got very sick and was not able to make the drive through the night and had to get a hotel again. I slept most of the next day. It was a rough week last week. Another night that I was working, there was a terrible accident on the freeway which created a fully stopped road block. I waited about an hour until I followed some cars that drove outside of the road into the U turn of the opposing highway and had to reroute. I didn't get much sleep that night and I didn't get much sleep last night either...... There is still not enough time in the day. I have most of my crafting plans paid off. There are two to three more which include the fall festivals, but that is still a little later down the road. I'm probably not going to be able to do the hot air balloon festival. Unless I have a couple nights where I make extra good bank, I'm probably not going to be able to go out of my way to afford it. I wanted to have more money in the savings by now (April is still not over yet). The time of the festival will be around moving month too. Making the move and having a totally rearranged life is going to be very stressing. I've been wanting to move the longest time. As much as I hate living with my parents, they have helped me with Mitzi some. They can still be too suffocating and go too far, but it was nice to have some free babysitting when I have been busy with work. I'm just not going to talk about my personal drama with it all, but I will be on my own in not just taking care of Mitzi, but with all of the other upkeep with wherever we will be living. I still need to explore more apartments and make a definite list of the ones I want to see and then make dates to check out the apartment and the location. I have so many other arrangements to work out with getting Mitzi ready for kindergarten and having other babysitters to cover for the times I can't. I am most excited to buy new furniture and decor. Mitzi really wants to bring our dog Bam Bam. I have had a hard time in keeping him potty trained the whole time and am a little wary of bringing him. It's going to be another rental expense, plus I probably will have to pay for a dog walker to take him out every so often. While I'm usually not allergic to dogs but to cats, I think I am a little allergic to Bam Bam. He is kind of an old dog. Hopefully pet cemeteries or cremations aren't expensive either........ I am going to have an entire change of pace with my life. I may have put too much on my plate during the summer time with all of my craft festivals, concerts, and trips, but I'm glad to have the hobby either way and hope that it pays off.

Pete

Hey Pete I'm glad you are around me in some ways right now. I have a connection with you where I have such a hard time believing anymore that you were the violent stalking clown that Tommy even called "the devil." I know that I know he wasn't literally you, but I see the ganging corruption in how some arbitrage works sometimes. I just can't believe that it would come from you to say something so violent like that. There was another sick and psychotic social network there last night who was either wanting to test me in the worst sick way, or already know that they are my violent psycho. Some people are so murderously vain at times with: "the sick psycho," isn't on them, it's on me. It is another further move in being psychotically cut throat. I just won't believe the devil is you in this instance Pete.......... Pete, you have a friend. I know you know I think he is attractive too. In being the most discrete with you Pete, I think you have confused yourself. It's like there was something you didn't mind and then you want me all to yourself. I loved the feeling of it, but it is really like you don't know what you are doing half the time.... Pete, while you are not the worst of the worst of the most hateful and intentionally harmful of men, I can't second guess that you would hurt me. I think you are a guy who is looking out for his own survival and can be a little defensive and a little insecure at times, and I know I can't completely trust you either. Who am I to expect your trust when there is a constant and uncontrollable Bollywood game of "Hotel California," going on? Your real lack of presence makes it that much more impossible. I don't feel too much guilt not just with you, but with other men who are being my Bollywood players. Pete, you really have come to matter to me more over the past couple of weeks. I really care for you more. You have to understand how impossible of a man you are with your Bollywood and how much that it is too much of an expectation for you to want my entire faithfulness. I'm not sure if you are seeking revenge over every small thing. Too much dominance, unfairness, and vindictiveness has run me off with other men before. I don't know you or where you are coming from well enough yet to have much of an understanding for who you are as a person. Sometimes, I get over you more because you are not here. I couldn't help but start to care for you more with some of the connections you make. My emotions come and go with the complicated situation that your Bollywood makes it. I still think of you from time to time, but can't make any promises to you either. I know I want you and I hope you want to be with me and have it together and have some kind of direction with whatever it is you want.

As the Sarah Turns: Final Attempt and Closure

While Pete may continue to want to play games with me hereafter; this is my last attempt in wanting to reach him. There are cat and mouse games; push and pull; and give and take. I am at the point where I feel I can no longer try hard to pursue him on my end.... I know that I know Jack, David, and Tiger know who I am talking about. There are other freaky watchers who probably know who I'm talking about too; whose social circles and identities I am blind sided with. Josh is definitely another man I don't give credit for with Pete. Talking with David about Pete is completely out of the question, and I just won't have the nerve to ask about Pete with Jack. Jack was the one who made me feel betrayed with David, but I still can't ask Jack anyway. Pete, while you have creeped me out along the way either way, I should feel creeped out with your connections and the serious possibility that you were just there to be a spy for your bros, BUT you have gone and chased this here Ho. Mwah. Pete, you may have made a choice in wanting to quit and give up on me. I appreciated the emotional and sexual connection I had with you, but just as much as you might have a problem with the pressure I put you under, I have a problem with the pressure you put me under. I think you should understand the impossible and unreachable mystery man you are on my end already where I have already been such a fool in wanting to reach you. You further had some kind of expectations on me where it is very likely that you are keeping me played with someone else. Again, while I may be expecting too much from you, you are expecting too much from me. My heart already tore and cried itself out with the impossible situation that this has been, but I am reaching my own personal closure with you. I'm still upset that I wouldn't know that I know it's really you if I did see you again, because I didn't even know or remember your name from the start. I don't like the real arbitrage psychological game that is going on either. It was nice to have felt your connections and love at some point, but I'm done making the effort on my end. I can't chase your ghost like that anymore. We may not be done yet, but if you have wanted and expected me to be more decisively firm in staying with you, I expect more effort on your end. ......................... Last night was a little bit of a crazy night. While I have a personal message to Pete that is already out there, I just include my other thoughts in this blog too. I think its funny that Eric looks a little like Giovanni. He reminds me of a couple of different conflicting people and he just cracks me up sometimes whether Eric means to or not. I'm not close to him, but he is a very extroverted guy. ... A lot of random men there last night that were very questionable in the arbitrage and most appeared to be friendly. I didn't like one questionable harassment attempt with Chris Brown's song: "I want you to take me serious." I didn't think that was funny at all. Not coming from Chris Brown. It really couldn't have been made to be a real gesture, but I think it could be a particular Nathan, Sal, and Giovanni that some social network is leaving a bad rep with. I will be making another personal message to Giovanni soon. Besides some of that drama, I felt a rude pressure from another network that wanted to pidgeon hole me to make a choice. Someone wants to pressure me into choosing someone. Once again, someone wants to trash the idea of waiting or me being independent. While I have yet to do a specific song promotion; I cheesily have another song to promote where it should always feel a common concept. G Easy- "Me, Myself and I" I don't like the rudeness and hate that I feel with: "How dare I wait for a particular someone, or someone else I would feel is better for me. How dare I refuse to compromise myself. How dare I remain independent?" I understand the world has all kinds of pressures at times, and there are times that I especially feel pressured into throwing myself on someone. However, whether I can see something or not, that is pretty rude to pressure or pidgeon hole me into choosing to be aggressive amongst people....... Until then, I'm not wanting to get too worked up or anxious in drama, but drama sometimes happens. peace out to myself.

my screaming flower

A little too direct of a title I know.... What are you Vonny? If you have a lot of credit to own up to with the way you were tormenting me in my blind side; you leave me with no choice in seeing you as a severe enemy. Is it that I've hurt you too much or is it you have a demand to want to be in control? A part of me wants to be a liar for the first time when I say "there are masters, and then there are want-to-be-masters." I'd lie to say, sure you're such a master, but I'm still a little too feisty for you. It is so painful that you still have to have me. My mind can't completely take it or get whatever everything with us is. Are you really having the worst unfair nerve with you being my barbarian and wanting to put the control freak on me? I think there are things about you that are most likely going to be too damaging for me, and I'm not going to understand how on earth would you want to keep me and want me with past and potential damages? I think the last thing you would want to hate me for is wanting to berate on me with whatever control freak you think I am. That is one extremely unfair and unbearable move. Watch it beast. When I'm with someone, it matters to me that I feel very accepted with who I am. It matters that the man accepts and hopefully more than likes the way I look and that he likes me for who I am as a person. You do look like Zack too, and if he was supposedly one of your arbitrage people, he was meaning to underdog me for who I am as a person. I still feel anything but beat by his personality, but were you really wanting to hate on my personality like him? I also couldn't handle if you had a same share as David for wanting to cut me short and putting the butt end on me as his fellow gangster. I'm not sure of your truths, but if you've damaged me too much in the past and want to keep hating on me the same; I seriously don't understand why you would keep considering me for yourself. Maybe you are just being a sadist with me right now by killing to be in control, but I'm not completely understanding our situation for what it is. I'm not sure what you are stockholming me for and what all the bondages are that you want me in, but I'm still staring at you with my Bruno "nothing on you." I could see myself hating on you with more of my same self flattery and I need more of a straight answer with what your real motives are when you just have to keep me and stay in control. Give me more honest relief and stop wanting to keep me if you are only going to be damaging against me.

Guessing Guessing

I'm hoping that the recent drama with Pete hasn't got you too upset with me. I admittedly have a little thing for him, but he just doesn't have me won over. He has some apology and recognition for knowing he is my stranger and how could he expect anything? He scored a little more off of that one. Still, I keep my attention on you and I'm guessing at some of your drama right now. You and Miss Margo had a thing at one time, and you could be her paper cowboy and you may be actually moving back to Michigan instead. So, if I'm going to move I'm going to have to move to Michigan, not Tennessee. lol. You played her and let her take some of you for what your worth and not only that, the rest of the people of Tennessee are mad that you broke Miss Margo's heart. You have your upcoming record company anyway, and that's your own self rescue. I could almost guess a story like that, but how does it really work with Miss Margo and her real husband? The thought of her own affair on him has never upset him and he is her all forgiving husband. Or, that story really never happened and her and her real husband have always been the most married and most serious for each other.? Am I being rude at being some kind of guesser, or are you wanting to let me in on you? .... I know Detroit has a nice airport and looks like a fun city. I'm not sure what I think of Michigan's predominately cold weather. I like a little more warmer of a climate, but I'm sure they still have a period of a warm summer. I really liked the spirit of Nashville. It is a nice city too. Some streets were a little ghetto but any city will have that. I'm running with my imagination a little bit, but I don't have much else to say today. short and sweet.