Most dominate rebel?

Sometimes, I get a hunch that some men (totalitarians) want to rebelliously keep me challenged on purpose. I'm struck by Ben. I'm just struck. (In just a small side gossip I'm in a little bit of a fight with captain America presently, but it wasn't over Ben. I'm not sure where it will go, but it was a mild fight that got into a bad fight, but he is not officially out of the picture. I've already threatened him some in being two faced and a player, but I've always had this double Bollywood life and real life where it is more along the lines of an impossible double life where I know I don't mean to be evil or two-faced with him. Quite frankly, I still believe in him more than I believe in Ben's Bollywood, but I have to keep messing with Ben.) I'm not always sure if I get a direct message from some people or if someone else orchestrates the conversation. There wasn't much conversation to be had, but whatever deal Ben wants to have with me, he is not finished. I really was minding my own business, but someone did bring up a past blogging conversation. There was a lot of times where I knew Ben was supposed to represent Josh in the arbitrage back in the day, but I was a little flirty anyway and I got POUNCED. Not by the "Pouncey," Steeler. I have no choice other than to wonder what goes on in Ben's mind. I really would see him as a typical Bollywood player, but does he have any real serious feelings for me? I know I've let him down in some arbitrage situations before, but I wouldn't say the drama with Ben and I has been as severe as the drama I've had with some other Bollywood men. I know he has some recognition and acknowledgement of me and it is like we have respectively minded our own business the entire time. If he is a real swinger or into open relationships, he is sure one to lie about it. I believe him to have let me down and be a cheater when it comes to me, but he just isn't as bad as the other ones about it: he has mostly left me alone that I know of... Until now. He comes and goes sometimes. In most discretion: "we just can't help it." With all the different kinds of violently retarded "masters," and while I know I've had "Masters," who have wanted to molest me on both ends with the dog issue "I can't handle my own sexuality," or "for shame on me as if I'm the most extreme bestial believer," I do believe in self control Ben. I have a hard time in being ice cold water about it. I know I'm seduced and give you more thought. I think I could just look at you like another Bollywood drama I know I don't want to have to deal or mess with. If there is something else you want me to clear up or clarify Ben, I don't know what you really want. Ammon Big Ben Bundy. lol. Josh looked like he was trying to look like James Comey or my father the other day, and I don't know why he or someone else wants me to feel so harassed. Maybe Josh's "Behind Blue Eyes," still looks at me today like I'm his worst life long damnation. I don't know what the half of it was Ben. Mysterious non-conversationalized sights and sounds.........what do you want Ben.....