Random Thoughts

It has been a tough weekend. I might splurge a little here and there and won't regret the splurge I had today but it just doesn't seem to add up with my spend and save. I did a lot of ubering through the week and it seems like I should have more in my account than what I do. It's like I threw a lot of money out of the window but it just doesn't seem to add up. I ate out this week more than usual but even with me eating out, I should still have more money in my account.... Stressed thoughts. I actually worked with uber today and was previously mistaken that most places were closed. The uber was really ringing during the lunch shift today. I could have got more calls in if I wanted but it was a holiday that I made a more than rightful excuse for and let myself have my break anyway. I chose the cheesecake factory and tried another cheesecake that I haven't tried and it wasn't bad: white chocolate macadamia. With all of the extra toppings, it was just too sweet. I went to the casino and shouldn't have spent as much money but oh well. Because I didn't go out last night, it kind of made up for it. I ended up dozing off at my house and just went to bed. I even got my hike in today. I chose the more convenient of a closer trail but the view wasn't the greatest: mud and leafless trees. Once spring has sprung, I'm sure the view will be that much more lovely. I never got around to going to a movie, and I don't mind. There aren't a lot of movies that I know of that played. I also got some work done around the house and I love coming home to a nice fresh and clean house. Always some cleaning projects to do, but I got enough done to my satisfaction. Tomorrow is another day... And, I worked and had the satisfaction of work hard, play hard, and making some extra money anyway. I had my cake and ate it too. I don't know how I'd manage a full day with no work; it has been a long time since I've had absolutely nothing at all to do. A LONG TIME. I really wouldn't know what I'd do with myself; I'd be antsy and anxious. ..... Other than being upset with the way some relationships don't ever work out, I really would have liked to see a few of my guys in their performances: Jack White, Jared Leto, and Travis Pastrana. They will all be coming through Pittsburgh soon and I think it is all in June and the relationships are all too ruined. They have no fan support from me. Had the relationships worked out, you'd think they'd at least give me a VIP pass, but I'm treated as another nameless fan like everyone else. Not only have I never dated any of their bollywoods, I never even got a most basic special treatment that they could have more than afforded. Not even a VIP pass from any of them in times past or any other guys that I've made some connections with. No personal invites, no VIPs. It seriously is too late to be suggestive with any of that now. With Jack, I blame Rusty some, but Jack more. Jack was messing around with me in some ways, but then he was just way too vindictive over Rusty and I wasn't even the one to do anything. Jack should have never threatened me with David, and he really lost me over David because he just didn't realize. He also looked like he was hitting on Paris too in some of the arbitrage with that Asian wedding. Jared, I could give more thoughts on, but I'm not even going to flirt with any thoughts. I have a good feeling that it seriously is kill or be killed with him and I with what my most lethal thoughts on Stacy are. I believe that it is he and Stacy that are some kind of Bollywood item now and I'm not going to run from any lethal thing I said against her. I'm not too seriously heartbroken over Jared. Then there is Travis. Maybe he had some intentional planned revenge because of the way I threw myself on Jack the first time he chased me around. I don't know why Travis would lead me on to just be the same murderous gang banging dead end. I've been so sick of either the deafness or intentionally controlling nature of some men who think they can change the way I think or feel. I'm so sick of the way they think they have what it takes to be manipulative in one way or another. I have no idea why Travis threw himself on me like that again to begin with. ?! wtf?! The goatmen just get horny and deadweight me from time to time. I don't know; I just don't know. Still isn't fair to me at all. dumb idiots. I kind of have a new crush on Tyler from 21 pilots now but he is married. I wiki'd him. He really has a couple of good songs. Happy go lucky "taking my time on my ride," song he is an easy rocker to admire. yeah lets just go to California and have a pool party. ok. .............and now it is a little late and tomorrow is my first day on my new job.............. lights out.