Random Thoughts

The baby shower went well yesterday. Very well. It was more grandiose than I had expected. I was never expecting a whole lot to begin with but I definitely feel ~showered~ with plenty. CHEESE! As for the awkwardness, it was and wasn't that bad. There was enough considerateness where nobody brought any of their drama or made any major provokings. It was friendly for the most part. Besides the family, most people were connected through my mom and it feels normal from them to be supportive of me. I won't complain about recieving so much stuff. The awkwardness was mostly on me in this instance, where I felt a little bad knowing I'm really not that close to a number of people. I had to yell a little at my mom for making that fact a little obvious. My snobbishness had had its day; but like any other person, I'm probably going to be a little nicer than usual. It isn't life changing to change out of being a snob, but I am at better terms for people who are being supportive.
There was another instance where when talking to Jon the other day, I really was talking about a different Liz. The other Liz, could have been responsible for the other matrix Liz that I had had to put up with, or there is no relation whatsoever. All I can say is that I had continued to take the teacher Liz as representing herself not even thinking of the other Liz. I think there was a different time where I was frustrated at the other Liz's aggression, but it wasn't like there was any severity of life that I was aware of. But, since I wasn't specific, it made it another awkward moment that I just worked around anyway.......

I'm still happy to get my taxes back. I can't wait to take a shopping trip. To have something good to say about my grandmother, in her card, she did have some emphasizing words. It was mostly around the lines of: If people knew me, they would know that I would make a good mom. I don't know if I am going to have any Kim Jong Il harassment in the future, but those thoughtful words were enough for me to bury the hatchet. I already feel like I'm off to a new start with some people and although it can't change anything that has happened in the past; things in the present and future could be different. I'm not like that with everyone. It is whatever person it is in my own time. Some can keep calling me a robot; I'm just going to go about every day as I always have.

I made another ebay sale! woohoo! Still not much of an income but a small yay for now.

In bad thoughts..............VH1..... I just had to watch it this morning. You never know with some people. Sometimes they will have some kind of immediate response; sometimes they will demand my attention in their own time. (I had watched the movie Selena yesterday). It didn't seem that Jim had anything serious to say. Maybe with the whole Chicago theme, he wants to throw himself in the victimization game as well and symbolize himself as "Cesar." Or maybe he is picking on someone else. I think with his typical piggishness: when he was taking himself out to all of the places and engorging himself with all of those fancy dinners, I think he probably was playing a Cesar role. Waaaaaaa Jim, you insult me in a number of ways and violently reject me and do a lot of other terrible and even death threatening things and now all of a sudden my words mean so much to you and you are a whiny baby Cesar who has too many knives in his back. Oh, how could I have ever gotten so upset or be mean to you? How dare I ever be mad? (There is a Jim out there somewhere in the matrix where I am really directing this too). I think he wanted to torment me with more music videos and especially the Madonna one. That is so offensive with the whole baby doll thing. WTF Madonna? What the Fuck is your problem? What the hell? That was so offensive.
I think SNL recalled the day where I was jamming to one of her songs the day before I was pregnant and she got offended because I was humping my boombox? I'm really not going to know how to listen to that song anymore. I'm just not going to know how to listen. I'm driven by my own emotions and influence, and it was a song that is a piece of the memory of the night the baby making happened. I could elaborate at this part, but I'm not going to explain my story in this instance. I don't want to trash a piece of the memory, but I also don't want to be supportive or a fan or not trash Madonna after her latest football song. I just don't know how I'm going to listen to that song anymore.
(I just watched last week's SNL, I will eventually watch this week's.)
I don't have any other thoughts for now. That's about it.