I believe at this point, I may be going through some kind of preparation or training for some Russian tricks and corruption.
As crazy as some of my assumptions, guesses, and beliefs with mind science goes, my curiousity and quest continues on to learn more. I've been around too many interrogators and tests that it is harder to not believe than wonder what is really being done.
Sometimes, I think it is used against me where I may be being rigged. Emotional triggers: anger, laughter, and even sadness at times when it is most inappropriate. Sometimes it is obvious, but other times, I believe that maybe through some sort of hypnosis or unexplainable mind experiment triggers my emotions at any given time whether appropriate or inappropriate.
I think there is sick rigging going on in my house and even elsewhere where the environment is really manipulated which brings me to my next thought:
My newest creative idea of the home analogy. I've compared myself to a house before in trying to explain the 4th ammendment to people sometimes when I have had to be a cat. I compare feeling violated to a house being robbed as in "The Panic Room," with Jodie Foster. Anyway, I made up my own Home Depot greeting today while training with my new job and the ad went something along the lines of: we specialize in making bricks and also we have UNMANIPULATED blue prints. I can only say it for myself. I don't literally say it for my literal home or literal family. I know they are either manipulators or liars at whatever time.
I also want to keep adding on my personal report about my dad. I think he is a sick pervert who does not know boundaries. I don't know if he was sadistically making a pass at me with the Raspberry pie, or it was his way of trying to intimidate me or make me feel ashamed or embarassed for what the Russians did with Dunkin Donuts. I can't see my dad's motive; it is sick period for him to make any insinuations in relation to Dunkin Donuts.
He probably still reads all my blogs and I hate his sick, stalking behavior.
Speaking of Russians, it seems they have greatly warmed up to me today for whatever reason. I don't know why or understand. I do make remarks and say things from time to time. I could be wrong, but maybe some of the Russian leaders like how I take advantage of their info about being corrupt and use it against people sometimes. Maybe I don't really have to try hard at all to be any kind of entertainment to them and am an automatic entertainer. I really do not know why there is such a kindness there, but I can give a subtle smile back.
I do not know who : "We can't be friends" is from. I don't know who is saying that to me and if it is said out of only wanting to be a lover, or the person hates me sincerely and wouldn't consider anything at all.
I can't take back what I said about a particular person but I feel a little emotionally awful for having to say it, but I don't take it back.
This week is the second week that I have watched "Outsourced" and I find some things to be pretty comical. I think when I get in the regular schedule after my training, I will start from episode 1 and keep up with this show. There is some obvious drama where I definitely feel either taunted, tested, provoked, or hated, but I'm curious about the whole story line. I think it may not answer everything, but a few questions may be answered. I may have a better idea of my surroundings.
I did watch The Apprentice again tonight. I'm a little unsure of what to think. Do they still connect me and include me in the show? Do they still identify me with some of the girls? I don't identify myself and I think if he is he is being too extreme and hard on me. I will leave the specific example in neutral terms, but if it came down to being fired over the specific example, there is no comparison between how I handled it and how Lisa handled it. No comparison at all. I don't know how to take the remark about crafts. I don't know if they are being literal or catty in the way I suspect, but either way, I still stand by my small business: Sprightly Finesse. Maybe 1 or 2 scarves may look tacky, but I like my scarves AND my hats. I have sold quite a few that is currently not in my inventory that turned out pretty nice. If I had the money, I would afford nicer yarn, but it will be just a couple of weeks until I can reinvest in better yarn, but what I have I don't think looks that bad. Some customers have seemed pretty happy with their purchases.
Nothing else is on my mind now.
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