I'll never understand

I'm not sure how serious you are in keeping me looked at as a prostitute prospect. I wouldn't doubt that you have had your share of prostitutes before. In wanting to play it safe: I'll never know how and think I can only make matters worse. In some instances I think my silences can make some difference but I can't always seem to keep my mouth shut.... I'd still be a Mary Jane if you were being serious. I don't know if it is my lack of loyalty or lack of faithfulness that sets you off the most... I know I've made you very mad and I don't know what to say..... I know there are real life Atilla the Hun females out there, but I don't identify myself too much as a conquistador and know that it will always be more natural for men to be conquestial than for women. I just don't understand your conquestialness. When it is on my end to dump and/or reject a man, I do not expect him to change. I do not choose to further pursue a man that I have already rejected. Laws of attraction are a big deal. When I know that I'm not attracted, I seriously don't understand why I should keep pursuing a man. I'm not the using type, and I've never been much of a using type. I do understand my job of being a stripper and entertainer and do expect tips. ... (I've always been agitated and on edge for the way there are a lot of immature men who have always sadistically taken or questioned me in the worst and/or underestimating ways). I think your laws of attraction are very messed up and I do not understand your laws of attraction at all. While attractiveness is a big deal; it is not my prime focused deal. Just because a person does have an attraction to someone; it doesn't mean they should be damned out of dumping them because they do have an attraction. (This is another reason I think stalking Sam is psychotic; I really do bet his is stalking and leering at me now. I naturally lost attraction to him a long long time ago) and I do lose my attraction to some men sometimes. John Atchison is another psychotic example. Had he not stayed too arrogant and vain; I wouldn't be as much of a loud gossip about it. ... Anyhow, if you seriously were that attracted to me already, I just don't understand why you would expect me to get a boob job. I don't understand why you would keep your demand to have to have me. It goes back to the conquestial nature of men I suppose, but it isn't something that I would understand. I know what I have said about prostitution in a great time of weakness and why it is likely I could say something like that again in another time of weakness. However, I will not be labeled as someone who seriously made the choice to seek prostitution. While I would never pay a male prostitute it almost makes more sense for me to have an escort for some sense of safety. It makes me mad too that I get pushed around for being single and that my singleness is used against me. I shouldn't have to have an escort to get my point or message across. Of course I have to be reminded in myself of the way I'm already profusely bleeding.... You're a terrible man David. I think you did know about some of my history and that me getting a boob job was one of the worst things you could have ever said in my times of crisis. You lost me big time there. I seriously don't understand why you would even need or want me as a prostitute after saying that and how you could ever expect anything from me. Terrible oxymoron. What nonlimp emotional love do you think you could get from me? When I know in the head what I know everything in me just stops. You're impossible.