Someone's Gold Chains

Trust my gut...... Tom whether or not you are the one who is putting some gold chains to tug and pull me back to you is something only you know. Maybe you have friends who work with you, or maybe I have enemies who intentionally want to lie to me....... I see how I am center of attention now in several different ways. Maybe in a different goodness of heart, you want to be a safety net in some instances, and will tell me at a later time the liar you are for different motives. I hate the way there are some more pressures with the people it turns out I really have offended or done some damage to.(I can't help but enjoy some of the satisfaction of it)shhhhhh.......Not going to say a whole lot for right now. What is really going on in my mind right now? I have a little bit of a cry. Not just crying over yesterday but crying over the efforts you make in not wanting to give up on me....... Maybe you have just been only testing me. But it is still degrading and hateful to me to test and question my associations with people. I will always have a gut hate for Bree Ann. She will always be on my bad side. While you want to show good signs; yesterday was a pretty bad sign. Maybe the next gut I should go with is maybe you are doing it out of revenge because of jealousy. Maybe I am seriously your "Roxanne," where you don't want me to put on red lights. (I know I haven't sold myself yet) I hate to say it even for myself: I was going with my gut when I was being a Roxanne. How dare I not roll over and die. It was the shares you had with other people and associations you have. It came from comments from your own mouth. Maybe it hurts me, but I'm not going to roll over and die or let it keep me from being the wild person I can be. I will turn off the red lights for now. If I go out, I'll still probably look nice, and I won't go home with anyone else for awhile until my Roxy needs to or knows to. Or maybe I'll never have a reason to be Roxy. Whether or not you are with me, some of your off and on games do make me feel lonely. While there is a lot of talk; it doesn't seem like we're official. I want to be around you more.