Dear Jon

Busy busy busy.... but some time to write......
Coming from you: a mix of seriousness with vices and then games and loosening me a little......
Additional jab from you that is similar but meant in a different way with me: I simply can't handle the type of man you are. You may not be the ultimate alpha but you are an alpha in your own ways. A typical male alpha that I sometimes and somehow get caught up in, but could never imagine a serious relationship with the type of guy you are. I just can't handle you. I would only want it to go to your head so much, but there are things about you that I hate you get proud over. Your life, I know, but even with you being the alpha you are, with some things about you, I'm too good for. It goes beyond the princess vs. queen concept. I hate the ways people manipulate with that. You know some of the obvious truth of my emotions. I can't control what you think or how you use it for or against me. Too much stress. I don't have enough solutions for myself YET.
I did want to join in on the conversation from the other day with entrepreneurship. Mixing business with pleasure. You did remind me of the "I want to work for you," letter. I can't help but laugh to myself about it. I don't remember what I wrote and don't want to. First impressions. ha. I think that may get the best of me but I am seriously not a hooker and hate the thought of it seriously being taken that way.....anyway.....
There may be a hidden agenda with what you personally think about entreprenuership, but I'll talk politically anyway. From just the general political talk, it does come off a little insulting that you would expect the worse and sympathetically give a pity party before it begins. If a little bit of financial support was there, it also robs the smallest of self-entrepreneurs or breadwinners the title of their breadwinning. Maybe not the entire title. But, the obvious later manipulation and ~you owe me~ "If it wasn't for me, you're business wouldn't be." I think there probably are some people who are so desperate for survival that some levels of credibility are not thought of or given a damn with. You can make your own guesses when you specifically look at me. I've already said it would be something that I would be serious about 10 years or so from now. Presently, I see myself as a very down to earth person. I know crafting is not enough of an income. As much as I'd like to stay my own boss, I still am open to working for an employer of some sort. It doesn't change the way I think of past employment and their B.S. authoritarianism, but the political talk goes in a different route where it goes towards workplace reform. Short and sweet: When it comes to business, I've always thought it better to have more capitalist control than governmental control. Both could be responsible for tyranny and communism. While I still can't figure out which is more responsible for my horrible work history, One or both have already failed me. I don't think some people understand how their sense of judgement, being judgemental as a whole, and being desperate as a whole makes them look. So much down to earth rational reform needs to be needed. Ethics, integrity, maturity and practicality, and emotional integrity.
Damn damn damn stupid violently vain damnation. And before and after it happens still too poor to have my voice taken seriously. and on your end the bad first impression and obvious issue of business vs. pleasure. Don't know if I would even call it that anymore but still. As the Jon turns and As the Sarah turns drama makes the conversation cancel itself out.