Dear Jon: not leaving you to guess

When I said you broke my heart in the most collosal way, I seriously meant what I said.
I am not getting the today show. I am not getting how "you took a bullet for me." However some math is being added up, I am just not getting it or buying it. You really have had your own ways of wooing me back to you at one time or another. I feel there is nothing you can do to ever compensate for the number of things you have done. I seriously can't handle your hate, the ways you have cheated and the people you have picked to cheat with. I can't handle your violence, sexual violence and harassment, or any of your harassment at all. Because of your loud desperation to victimize me, I still have people to this day that violently harass and/or sexually harass me to no end. It it such a long chronic annoyance. I do deserve to sue someone or have someone do the time for their crime. There really are some people that think I feel inferior to them and inferioraly subjected to their harassment and accusations. STILL TO THIS VERY DAY. Besides the additional unnecessary hell you brought into my life is still your main truth that I don't think you will ever realize how much you broke my heart. It isn't just the dog victimization and sexual harassment, it is who and how you cheated. I will always know my truth for what it is regardless of the lack of control I have in my life. I just think you need to really get that you should give up on me with whatever it is you are trying to prove. You havn't proved a thing. I will never be convinced that you would love me. If you were to seriously follow through with how much you hate me, you wouldn't have anything to prove in that direction either. I do not know your point or purpose in wanting to hold onto me or keep me around. I know you probably know my digital cable service no longer has Comedy central. But today's cat call and other questionable matrix catcalls are more examples where I am not fully convinced that you are giving up on me. If you are not going to give up or let go, what is it? what gives?