Just random thoughts today

These past few days, the weather has been perfect: not too hot, not too cold. Although I think it is early for the weather to be this warm, I am loving the weather. I don't think I'm going to be too much into the summer season this year because there is my post baby body and also I just have too much on my mind and too much take care of. Who knows, maybe there will be a day or few that I will be spontaneous and do whatever I feel like doing.
I have been watching a number of movies during the past couple of months. I really don't have a lot to say. I'm sure if I wound up in a conversation with someone, I could have something to say, but it is just watching movies right now. There are some things that I can't help but laugh at. Sometimes, I'm just simply at leisure when I want to write. I still have some shows to catch up on.
emotions emotions emotions......... There is still a lot of paranoia to ignore but for right now I'm not going to make a big deal or lose myself over the fact that I sometimes can't control my emotions. I have no words for my emotions......
I'm almost finished my own self-designed bag. I think my idea will turn out better this time but I'm not sure yet because I havn't finished it yet. I've been happy to be branching out more and trying new things with crafting.
Another random thought, I looked up Mitzie again and discovered that it is actually an English name. It sounds English. I just can't decide between Mitzie and Mitzia or even different spellings with Mitzy and Mitzya. I'm still stuck on that name.
I think I'm pretty much tested and obsessed over and people looking over my shoulder every single time I go to the market. So, it really isn't too much of a surprise when strange things happen or certain people are there. I ran into Joe today. He simply said "excuse me." I did make a loud gesture when I turned my back and agreeably said "excuse you." Then, I walked away. We obviously have a serious hate for each other and when running into each other in the market, it is a market setting. He does seem the type to be outgoing and say anything anywhere, but not in this instance. It is and isn't a big deal to have such a serious enemy around me like that. Some people do take notes and keep scores over pretty much anything anymore. whatever. I can't tell what the system could be computing right now with the very brief interaction, but in my world, he is still a hateful being that I still hate and claim as an enemy.
I didn't realize that today was St. Patty's Day. I don't mind missing out on it. Today is a day where I don't mind being a homebody. These past weeks I really havn't cared much that I'm more lazy and laid back than others. Still not happy with life and living here but when I think of going somewhere, I just think I'd rather sit around at home.

Dear Jon

Jon, I'm still not completely getting you. So I don't hurt your feelings, I'm leaving out "dumbass," this time, but I am guessing you have some sexual hunting game going on. This isn't about my pleasure, but your sadistic pleasure in gunning me down with your interrogations and trash talk. You do keep your predatoryness confusing though when I'm the contraception woman that you're supposedly getting off on. I just give up and don't care. I'm letting you win this one: slap me around and gun me down and have your way...... I wonder if you're even mocking my complaints of sexual correlations as well. Whether or not you want to be a Peter Pan with sex is up to you.
Right now, I don't consider myself seeing a lot of guys or having a lot of men in my life. Some guys it's just flirting and nothing more. I know in the past, I have had a thing for other guys. I know one of the main ones you are aware of is Dane. But, I have never subjected you to any of the guys I have had things for. Dane is another psycho with the whole subjective thing, but I never made the choice to subject you to Dane. Dane could have done some things on his own, but whatever he or any other potential guy could have done is not something that I am responsible for.
It isn't fair for you to be so one-sided like that anyway. It is obvious that you have real wealth and fame, but it still isn't fair with the way you aren't being fair. Besides so many other women you've cheated me with, you're technically married..... I don't know how to think about you anymore with the reality and things that have been said and done... When it comes to some thoughts, I really don't have a strong opinion at this time.
.....I'm going to watch the police show soon. I still feel bad that I missed out on it. When I was reminded that day; I've just been too exhausted to be awake and get things that are going on. I have a lot of entertainment on my to do list to watch and that even includes a newborn video. I don't have much else to say right now...