Hi

Life is tough right now and you are a small part of the reason.... I hate Jon's nerve so much. I know he has been lurking on and off over the past couple of months and has had some stockholming presence. I'm upset about it. I'm upset with all I've ever been is stalked and stockholmed and the worst caged relationships has always been treated as normal or acceptable and they won't stop dodging the stalking and stockholming bullet. You won't either and I'm so upset about it. How do you expect me to feel saved or any safety from something when you will go and do the same paranormal thing? I don't know who keeps throwing me in a cage right now and I hear and feel occasional jealous gestures of "get back in the basement," but it is always a second world that will always have the butt end of degradation joke to be on me. I am a raped victim. I hate the way people think I should be to blame for the ways I get treated and this is why it always matters to me to just keep to myself and know that I know I have never compromised myself for anyone. I hate the violent stalking pest in someone so bad. I know I don't know where half of some arbitrage/Bollywood people come from but I remain livid over whoever keeps stalking me and wanting to be in control over my life. Right now with Jon Stewart, it looks like people are wanting to blame some women's jealousy against me over him, but both him and I know the things he has said and done and I will never want to care to be with him in this lifetime. I hate the way I feel threatened to be forced to be Jon's victim once again like he has a chance with me because other women's jealousy needs to be to blame. It hurts to keep throwing myself on you because you are no different than any other Bollywood and although you have some sense of protection to offer against Jon, you don't make me feel protected enough against Bollywood; against you being too dominate, in control, and not letting me in on you enough; against the constant threats and rights of other people's stalking, stockholms, and Bollywood like it should always be normal and acceptable. My heart won't stop breaking for the normalcy I should more than have in my life. Don't take too much advantage of your Stockholm and don't make me feel left for dead with Jon and all the other fat bastards that ignore me and refuse to leave me alone.