You're the One Who Seriously Need to Think More

I still mostly perceive you as a dumb rapist nigger pig. I hate that this is already being pushed this far. With the way you have treated me, I don't think you have any business in wanting to be in any kind of real serious relationship with me. You're way too cold blooded and the bad man you are is still that much more bad than whatever bad man I am. I'll keep screaming bloody murder rape the more you keep trying to put up a fight with your "Chicago" competitive victim game. If you really want to punish me more or make me your 50 shades of grey, you have another thing coming. You probably did not only fuck the real actress too but you probably did recently cheat on me with her. THE LISTS OF WOMEN YOU HAVE CHEATED ON ME FOR. WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU WANT TO CALL YOUR PIGGISH GAME. I don't trust you AND YOU BETTER FUCKING KNOW YOU KNOW THAT. I DARE YOU TO KEEP CONTINUING ON WITH YOUR LIES AND THINKING I'M YOUR DUMB NAIVE VICTIM. YOU WANT TO ROB ME AND MAKE ME LOOK LIKE SOMEONE I'M NOT AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE A NIGGER LIKE THAT. I MUST BE A REAL SERIOUS THREAT TO YOU SOMEWHERE TO WANT TO BLACKMAIL, LIE, RAPE, AND ROB ME THE WAY YOU DO. I still haven't figured out the enemy you are. If you havn't learned from your dumb games at this point you're never going to learn. I don't know how much you hate my fascism with Jack but I do see "Treat Me Like Your Mother," right now between us and I sure as hell am not going to put the fault on me. Play dumb, play dead, play gay. You know you have me more severely betrayed and mistreated. I'm not going to conform to your games, fascism, or doing things your way. I don't think we compare at all and I'm not anywhere close to giving up on doing things my way. You should think of something more to say with how seriously violent of a dense rapist I think you are.

Personal Travel

Although my trip wasn't as perfect as I wanted it; the trip was worth it more than it not being worth it. I liked the little bit of a thrill that it was. Although I've been to Baltimore a few times; I discovered more about it this trip. I found out about more things to do and places that it had. I had no idea that Baltimore had such a huge Casino and mall. I thought the only mall Baltimore had was the one that was down by the harbor. I was glad to have discovered this new mall. While making money was one of my main objections; the location made it hard to keep the money that I made. I definitely had better luck this time while at the strip club, but the business was surprisingly slow. It was comparable to Morgantown: both businesses slow and that I made about the same amount as I would if I were in Morgantown. I did like the Club Pussycat better than the ones that I had already tried, but am still curious to try more out. If I were to come back; I don't know when I'd plan on it. I might be a retired stripper by then. While I have a little resentment in not bringing back the amount of money I wanted to bring back; I at least bought the things I needed and found good deals while shopping. I'm glad that I got to finish my trip off with the 5k marathon. The marathon made my trip worthwhile too. It was as fun as it sounded. I thought it had its own terrible humor to do the 5k club style. It was mostly like a music fest with some vendors but not tons of vendors. They had a beer truck. Before the race started, some people who were actually running had already started drinking. I just had to shake my head at a couple of people that were drinking before the race. I ran the whole race without stopping to walk or take a breather. I'm so glad when I can make the distance without stopping. I'm not sure if they even timed the race. I did stay and party a little after the race and drank a beer before making the rest of my way home. I love techno music and I was glad that everyone else was enjoying it with me. Some people don't like the techo/rave kind of thing and only like hip hop or rock, but I think techno has such a good sound. I wasn't too sure how much of a rave it really was. I did smell some pot on an occasion, but I wasn't there to be a drug hall monitor. There was a ton of people though. Ton of people. I definitely would like to run that one again.

Taking a Stroll with Prince Harry

I wouldn't mind being taken by your escort for an imaginary walk. I know it is getting a little ugly with David and I. Anything I could say about him is something I've most likely already said to his face. "Springsteen?" Jon is still in a much worse standing than David. Bruce Springsteen is supposedly supposed to have a share with Jon but I think the lowest of the low things about Jon. I think David is low too, but not as much as Jon. I think he has a more sincere way of caring about me, but he just doesn't understand how poisonous and toxic of a man he is. It's like I'll always have to repeatedly take on the same type of man with the same type of problems and it has been more difficult through the years to try to attract the type of relationship and man I want. I've always tried my best to treat a man to his own personal blank slate with: what you see it what you get. I mostly do, but sometimes I feel like I'm being forced to have a strong bias against him with shares of Jon and Shawn. It upsets me that men like that don't give up on me after all of the hell they have put me through and times they have mistreated me in the worst ways. I hate Jon and Shawn's arrogance with a passion and the way they think they could have me back at anytime and that I'd always be available or won for them. Jon and Shawn have always treated me to the most least sense of civility and fairness. I don't understand why they would have any desire for me after making such a serious inferior and underdog out of me. David could be a man who sees and observes things and would make the terrible mistake of misunderstanding me through Jon and Shawn's lies. I don't understand David much and I don't think he understands me. Whatever mission David is supposed to be on...... I am creeped out about the whole David Cameron thing and how that whole arbitrage works with both Jon and John and "Bree Ann." I hate the way they have never wanted to give up on bigamy in the worst sadistic and ignoring way. I have felt lonely in the worst way for the longest time because I know I see Jon for the sadistic and selfish man that he is and it is like nobody will see him for the bad man he is. People expect me to forgive and put up with him after all of the times he fails me. I trashed his entire bigamy by treating him like my Ike Turner or Tommy Lee. I would rather intentionally provoke him to smack me around to give their vanity a harder smack that I WILL NEVER COMPROMISE myself for their unsorry vain sadistic rapacious ass. Why won't people keep them punished more for the Moammar Qadaffi's they are? I seriously can't figure out whatever mission David is on and I'm pretty livid at the way he seems to be another man who expects me to change who I am, and the way I think or feel about things. If a man is SERIOUSLY going to go for a woman he wants, he should have known her better and have been sold on her from the start. (not in a seriously prostituted way). My most serious problem and vibe that I feel with David is that he is not sold on me, does not accept me for who I am, wants to control me and expects me to lay my life down for him. I feel beat up by his fascism and popularity contests. I don't feel like he puts me first. I feel like I get back stabbed by him sometimes and he just doesn't say things to my face enough. As much as he could hate me for going against his double standard with loyalty and gossip, I know he has already betrayed me in some ways. I hate when fire begets fire to war and cheating games, but it is how relationships naturally roll sometimes. I have my own reasonable problems against him that he doesn't seem to back down from enough or be pussy whipped to care about me enough. It is so painful and hurtful to feel so betrayed by him and he is so emotionally insensitive about it. I don't want you to feel like I am double crossing you either but I probably will include David in the conversation. There is a certain way I'm still his and can only keep waiting on him. I really think that it is Gillian he has had most of a thing for but he has been keeping me played with her the entire time. And being against being too loyal for David, it is for the sake of my own pride to say that he is the forceful one. He stays and forces me to stay with him in some ways. I have no choice in it. He is the forceful one that I can only wait on.