I feel bipolar today

I hate talking about being bipolar. While I often feel extremely beat up and depressed for myself; there are times I appear anything but that. I did a little less than 2 hour bike ride today and it really felt great. I did something new and got to explore a really fun trail in Pittsburgh. It was definitely a hot day and when I made it to my halfway point, there was a good breeze for there to be a cool mist from the fountain at the downtown Point park. It felt good to do that. I still didn't do as many calls as I had originally planned. I was going to work out yesterday but those plans folded, and then today when I called the gym, it was required you had to wear masks while on the equipment. I didn't feel like the usual work out video and going on a bike ride is something that has been on my mind. I would do it more often if I could, but it is a time consuming thing. In knowing whereabouts and parking, it isn't always the most convenient thing either. It would make a good date or outing..... In thinking about depression, I hate the uncontrollable depression and despair I have in some ways. I have a couple of bollywoods and while I was thinking of talking about them, I just don't have it in me to be the out spoken player. I care for them all and just don't like the thought of breaking any of their hearts for the other as pointless and despairing as it seems as it always gets nowhere. ...I have been ignoring/avoiding Demi Lovato for awhile because I feel so argued against and I hate the way she crashes/clashes/and argues with me. She is so rude and she has had me in repressed rages before. I'm not apologetic if I creep her out. She's too rude to make a friend out of or be friendly towards. She has me ignored and argued against in being a bossy and controlling bitch who wants to act like she has me owned and wants to call my shots. How many times have I been extremely upset and livid when someone wants to own my truth, act like they have me owned, and just being a dominate or "queen." You're not my queen Demi and I don't appreciate the way you INTRUDE AND INVADE AND EXPLOIT IN MY LIFE. Stop putting me on the spot, throwing your fits, and threatening my life because I'm not letting you win with your rudeness whether you mean to be a friend/ lesbian/ or just straight up gets-to-get-away-with-it predator. While I'm not specifically speaking about the man that your intruding stalker has an awareness of (unless he is being a cruel two timing bollywood- you are so impossible and unfair, Oilman--- To be set up, to be set up to fail--...)...I get rejected all the time by people I could want to be friends with or in a relationship with and I take it and I understand I can't win with everyone and am not loved by everyone and it is a fact of life that every person lives with! Stop throwing your fits, being a psycho, and taking your anger out on me, and being vengeful because I don't like you, Demi. Believe that I head but your shot caller and claims of you having me owned, Demi. (Oilman, I don't mean to shoot you down too much but you make me wonder who you mean to be).