Life is Hell

I've had a number of hateful sadists cheering, but this still isn't about them and their egocentric terrorisms.... I still do not know where a lot of things and information comes from. I see a lot of different things on msn and pay attention to some signs, but I hate reading the articles. I bet they came from Jon, but there is someone watching me and watching people and giving me more impossible leads. A lot of it is still too mean. Even whoever the hockey players are. Like that is some kind of greeting and introduction... The "do not do over 40," Is it Bradley's "train conductor"? One of the guys looked like Blackbeard. He is technically white but the black guy looked like him somewhat. It was such a quick glance of a delivery call. He had a weird name where I think it was 2 first names but I don't remember the name. It wasn't a normal name but the second name to the double name was "Adrian." Was it Francis? I can't remember but whoever is watching me knows who it is and I have the common belief that he is another man who makes me want him and I will never see him again. Is he really hurt that I treat him like he is that much of a toy? IT'S SOMETHING FOR ME TO KNOW FIRST AND ONLY AND NOT SOME BLIND-SIDING BULLSHITTER OF A MESSENGER. I suffer from several different kinds of exploits and kidnappings from time to time where the actions aren't always the same kidnapping and exploiting actions but there is a person who is still wanting to be the dominate owner and being the one who tells the story and calls the shots. Some people know their sadism, but someone still keeps committing a constant wrong. "Adrian" is still in my typical Bollywood mindset. I wish I could completely let myself feel comfortable with him and not want to look around for other men but he is still in the Bollywood category. I want to be satisfied but can't. I'm not entirely comfortable with Zoosk right now but look anyway.... It has been so long since I have gone out but there has always been something coming up every single weekend in these past couple of months. It has been killing me that it has been so long since I've been out. I've yet to decide the things I want to do but definitely see some kind of show whether it be bands or comedy. I think some comedians can be so creepy, sinister, and death-threatening in some ways that I'm more set on seeing some kind of band but I don't know any of the bands that play. It doesn't matter that much but sometimes I wish I would know if I already knew whether I liked the band or not. Life has been too short for a bad show. I don't get to get out all of the time. It isn't that bad shows happen that much.... I still have to pay some kind of deductible for my stolen car. It was at least reduced some, but it doesn't change the time off and expenses. I was close to getting caught up and when I was more than capable of being caught up on my bills, the incident took me back financially hundreds of steps. I'm so mad about it all that I'm going to be making myself go out soon anyway in the midst of my rage. I have a craft show the next weekend and was supposed to have one last weekend but WHEN MY KEYS WERE STOLEN ALONG WITH MY CAR the replacement key was a wrong key. I had to pay another fucking 75.00 just for the new keys and getting new locks. FUCKING THEIVES. FUCKING STALKERS will know I'm still throwing my fit and fuck with me more for their fucking sense of dumb butch power. should be fucking satisfied with what they already did fuckers. But anyway, I missed the craft show because I couldn't get in my garage to get my crafts because I was given a wrong new key. I've yet to go back to get another new key but I should be able to get in by next show. I hate having other random things on my checklist I still have to do. Something else to complain about while I'm on my rant.