Bracing for my depressing storm

The past couple of weeks have been rough and this upcoming weekend will be rough. I can say I can be grateful for having several unexpected days off last month and this month that were fully paid. But, I still have hardly enough time in my hands. I still worked a lot, but despite all of that this past week and next week has hit me with such a thud. I work both on my birthday and on New Years Eve. My daughter won't be with me on those days because she will be at her grandmothers. The weekend is the most convenient time to have her watched as I am working, but I will so lonely during a time I don't want to be lonely. I was recently dumped by my boyfriend and although I usually never do anything major during my birthday, I can't stand how alone I will be on that day. I have had getting a pedicure in my head and taking myself somewhere nice to eat during the daytime, but the indulgences are just not going to cut it this time. I still may indulge myself in a thing or two anyway because it is the best relief I can get. I might pick up a double on one of the weekend days so I can have more money relief going into the week ahead but time off is what I should need. I'm having a hard time being motivated. I think Mr. Sullivan wants to be another intentional time wasting heart stab or punch in the stomach and I gave up on him and got over him awhile ago. I have a feeling he just wants to be unnecessary drama and make my life miserable with the reminder that he is. While he was never the intentional threat that Sidney was, he is still an unintentional one in depressing me with the intentional selfish predator that he is. I really don't feel like going through a hassle of finding some random guy to sleep with for a night. Sometimes I can more than handle one night stands more than others, and right now, I don't even feel like any kind of one night stands no matter how random the guy is for me. (The more random and self-known stranger, the better). Small indulgences and the casino are the only things on my mind this weekend during the little spare time that I have. I think I'll be going to the casino tomorrow as that is the only full night I will be having off. Until then, I have to wait for some time to pass before I can have a skip to my step again.