Pete

Hey Pete I'm glad you are around me in some ways right now. I have a connection with you where I have such a hard time believing anymore that you were the violent stalking clown that Tommy even called "the devil." I know that I know he wasn't literally you, but I see the ganging corruption in how some arbitrage works sometimes. I just can't believe that it would come from you to say something so violent like that. There was another sick and psychotic social network there last night who was either wanting to test me in the worst sick way, or already know that they are my violent psycho. Some people are so murderously vain at times with: "the sick psycho," isn't on them, it's on me. It is another further move in being psychotically cut throat. I just won't believe the devil is you in this instance Pete.......... Pete, you have a friend. I know you know I think he is attractive too. In being the most discrete with you Pete, I think you have confused yourself. It's like there was something you didn't mind and then you want me all to yourself. I loved the feeling of it, but it is really like you don't know what you are doing half the time.... Pete, while you are not the worst of the worst of the most hateful and intentionally harmful of men, I can't second guess that you would hurt me. I think you are a guy who is looking out for his own survival and can be a little defensive and a little insecure at times, and I know I can't completely trust you either. Who am I to expect your trust when there is a constant and uncontrollable Bollywood game of "Hotel California," going on? Your real lack of presence makes it that much more impossible. I don't feel too much guilt not just with you, but with other men who are being my Bollywood players. Pete, you really have come to matter to me more over the past couple of weeks. I really care for you more. You have to understand how impossible of a man you are with your Bollywood and how much that it is too much of an expectation for you to want my entire faithfulness. I'm not sure if you are seeking revenge over every small thing. Too much dominance, unfairness, and vindictiveness has run me off with other men before. I don't know you or where you are coming from well enough yet to have much of an understanding for who you are as a person. Sometimes, I get over you more because you are not here. I couldn't help but start to care for you more with some of the connections you make. My emotions come and go with the complicated situation that your Bollywood makes it. I still think of you from time to time, but can't make any promises to you either. I know I want you and I hope you want to be with me and have it together and have some kind of direction with whatever it is you want.