The Big Bang of New York

Just in my personal perspective of "Sarah and New York relations." While I have not taken a lot of time in thinking about New York in some ways, I have considered the thought of the way I treat NY as an entity and the unfairness of it. While I have made several connections with people or groups in NY (Talk shows and the newspaper); I have also had my own theories going on at the same time. My main theories are somewhat around what some already said movies are: 1. "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" I have some line up of death threats placed over my life and I am somehow being protected in some structured secret service power. Although I think people have a lot of terrible motives; I had some impression that there were people who wanted to be out to protect me. 2. The whole "50 Shades of Grey" ordeal and that there are a few main dominate boyfriends and other random dominates that come and go and are all about their dominate structure. Mad Men tie in to this in some ways when it comes to issues of wealth and their self salvation in trying to keep their wealth and valued fascisms and egos protected. 3. That I am being used in several ways that I don't understand. I found it so odd when watching some of David Duchovny movies and came across "The Joneses" and while I wouldn't be an exact match of Demi Moore's role, I could compare myself somewhat. I feel my life is occasionally being used as a competitive/ fascist lifestyle, where sometimes it is do or die. It is not that I have high cares in fascism. I get what it means to be a "Jones" and would rather fight to have my own personal identity than to be seen as someone's follower or if I was with someone or seen in a certain clique that I know I would personally deny. It is the fight of my own snobbery and civility. ...........Sarah Palin had been a big deal to me at one time and the relations with New York and other random sources had also been a big deal. Where did it all come from and why? To me anymore, it isn't worth it to fight to be desperate to say I am an important "somebody." I don't feel that I need fame. I don't care to feel like my life is being put on the line for it. I do have problems with supremacies and dominate structures. In fighting against some; it hasn't necessarily meant that I was fighting to be famous. I really don't understand what any of my relations to New York are supposed to be anymore. Although some people like to have some kind of communications from time to time, I know that I had run my mouth harshly and don't feel that I would be safe if I were to ever to go to NY. I don't appreciate the way I was being groped by NY. I don't appreciate the suffrage of sorts in my life that has already happened. I don't appreciate the exploitations and the harassments. I don't appreciate the punishments and the piggishness. I never appreciated the way that people thought that they had me owned. While I have had some flexibility in communication, my main rules of thumb still are: WHAT I SEE IS WHAT I GET. I really don't like it when people try to make my relationships up and Barbie them around like they deserve to tell US BOTH what to do. There is a reason that I have been the most difficult TO KEEP in a relationship. I don't mean to be too hard on the one that I'm playing games with now. The Barbie doll games happen so often that people forget the basics and the common sense of being in an actual real relationship. IT IS how the man decides to go about wanting me, gaming me, and how fair or unfair his expectations are in wanting to keep me around. Paul Bunyan. I get so tired of some men (and being confused about their real actions) using their capitalism to capture me. Some of their possessiveness WAS NEVER FAIR. Real life availability does matter. It has always mattered the most.

What to do this Weekend

This is just another random blog of my thoughts out loud.... I have my own small brief little break this weekend and haven't decided what I'd like to do. I never seem to have enough time and it wouldn't be bad to just stay at home and get a few more things off my to do list to reduce my stress. Sometimes, I don't even get to get to my do list when I give myself more free time. .... I've really been wanting to go out for a long time to bar hop. Sometimes, I get my own case of cabin fever at the club that I work at. It would be nice to just bar hop around town for once and make a planned night of it. I definitely prefer to go to Morgantown to club hop. It would be another full day of being away from home though. I'm not going to make 2 trips to Morgantown in one day. My chastity belt is something that I'm not out to protect either. While I do keep my chastity belt on in some ways, I'm carefree in others. I'm not out to be desperate to find a one night stand/ fling/ potential friend with benefits to meet, but I'm not against running into one either. If I went back home to Cumberland, I could somewhat have my cake and eat it too with getting some things on my to do list done AND going out. But, I'm not as thrilled to go out on the town in Cumberland. There is so much more to do in Morgantown, and I have yet to actually go out bar hopping there yet. I don't know. I haven't made my mind up yet and have so long to plan for a day in Morgantown or just chill and relax in Cumberland..... what to do what to do