As the Sarah Turns

There are quite a few secrets and thoughts that I am continuing to keep to myself...... Who knows what the future holds...... While I have some secrets and thoughts, I have other issues to rehash/ finish off. I have noticed Justin D'A's persistence. I am surprised by this because once I thought we had established what we thought, it would be left at that. He stayed persistent with me. My reaction: He is another Brawny man that doesn't know how to come to terms. While I think he is cold-blooded, he isn't at the same level of Jon's cold bloodedness yet. I don't know if he will recognize a normal independent, or continue on with his Planet of the Apes conquestial mission. Jon was nothing but a continued intentional torture with a cold blooded will to keep me ignored. I can't get over that men like Jon or Jim haven't gotten over their Planet of the Apes mission and poorly influence other men to think the same way and that it is normal to be so gang raping like that. I will never give up on finding rest against their Planet of the Apes and that one day my life will feel more free and normal. ........... I'm finding myself in a different state of a weakened emotion. Despite a lot of things that have happened, being violently rejected, experiencing violent sexual harassment, I feel I am a still needed person. I just don't know the end of it. While I would never want to be or feel needed by men who are just a certain way or Ikes; it is a truth that can't be avoided. I still have mostly silence for Jon. With Justin, all I am trying to say: my answer is still the same with Carrie Underwood. I hate that I feel I am being ignored and he expects me to settle with him in the worst way. Until then, I can only wait to see what will happen next.