Random Thoughts about Life

While there are a lot of things I can only be quiet and still for now, there are still other random things about life I can talk about. There are things new going on, and things that aren't new whatsoever.........Right now, one of my main anxieties are that I can't get to the gym. Sometimes, it isn't as big of a deal to not be able to go to the gym. This past week or 2 has just been so impossible and I can't stand it. I've been cooped up in the house too long. There is a mix of being broke (as usual) and the weather and other times where I just can't make it to the gym. Especially in the winter where I am unemployed and less busy, I just can't stand not being able to get to the gym. I feel extra fat because there is nowhere to go or much to do..........I did come up with more of a to-do list to keep myself busy and give myself a pat on the back for getting rid of the long overdue things that were on my to do list. With crafting, I've made my mind up that I'm not going to do the Ocean City thing this spring. I just can't see myself making the extra investment to go through with it. I still have no other choice but to keep an investment in crafting, and I do plan on continuing to invest. I will try one spring event, but I think I will leave it at that and plan to invest more on the winter fests and add 1 or 2 more to my list. ..............Getting ready for some marathons again. I was so upset last year because although I signed up for the Striders, I just wasn't able to fit a marathon in my schedule. This year I definitely feel ready for the 5k's. And, I am going to push myself more for a 10k in August. ...............Life has been frustrating. I still live with the same problems and severe problems. I am not writing about the severe problems on this one, but the severe problems still exist.............. Random normal problems. yes. I have growing pains with Mitzi. There were some frustrations during her infanthood, but in toddlerhood, my goodness, the terrible two's are almost here. One minute she is getting into something she shouldn't. The next minute she makes another usual huge mess. (she makes messes often. so many spills. so many more messes during mealtimes.) The next minute I spot her from hurting herself, or, it is too late and she has either fell or tripped over something or bumped her head on something. I have to keep my eye on her more as a toddler than a baby. Frustrating getting to places too. Frustrating when she wants to climb on me at the wrong time. She sometimes treats my computer like its her next drum toy or something along the lines of a toy you beat on. Very demanding baby. And trying to potty train too. ............. With "As the Sarah Turns." I just have my own discretion right now. I may not see everything, and I'm sure there are some things I don't want to look at. I do notice some instances and right now, I can only wait some things out. I don't want Seth MacFarlane out in the cold or dark. I do think Seth is an adorably handsome man. However, he ultimately is not my type. If I was with him the Switchfoot song, "We were meant to live for so much more," would always be in my head. The reason is his specific agenda of his career. I know the show is not always about little "Stewie." I'm just not going to be one to live to rip on Jon Stewart. Jon will always be my enemy and definitely a different kind of enemy than Seth. I do see Jon as a weak person, but my sincere hate against him is different than Seth's. It would just be an embarrassment to me to couple with Seth for the sake of ganging up with him against Jon. I don't want my life to be about Jon like that. I don't obsess over people like that. I make up my mind and say what I say and mean what I say and that is that. It was never fair for him to be a communist with me at all. And although he still gets away with his rape, harassments, communism, and unfairness, I would just not live to hate on Jon for Jon's sake. Seth may make some good hits against Jon, but I would see the way Jon would want the satisfaction and get me robbed. It just isn't my purpose in life. I say what I say and that is that. With some other men, everything is still up in the air. I still hate what some hyper-structured-OCD things there are out there. Sometimes, I hate how difficult it is to wear an outfit because of the way someone would look at it with their own assumptive structure. I know sometimes, dressing up is different than others. But it is like once I do one thing, there is always this continued obsession or leer. I really would rather not hear the times people lie about, judge, or assume about me. I hate the way people want me to be involved in their drama in some ways. It is like it still has never occurred to some people with the differences of questioning or sharia law assumptions. It has never occurred to agreeably disagree or what it means to be one-sided or what one's actions are really doing. Even if people did call me "Farrah," more often, there are times where I just won't or don't care.